Wherever the wind goes

FUUUCKKKKKKK

I am literally about to fail all of my midterms.

Racist Bitches in my Women’s Studies class.

HALP

I need speech topic ideas. And a shit ton of motivation.

I want to go back to Albion so bad it hurts.

argh finals

welp…

ear infection and a note from the doctor to stay home from class.

should be happy but instead I would just rather not feel so icky.

nothin’ like it;

nothing like that feeling of knowing everyone who used to be your friend isn’t. nothing like knowing that you are going to fail one of your classes. knowing there is no conceivable way of going back to normal anytime soon. nothing like that feeling of being betrayed. nothing like that feeling of helplessness. nothing like having work to do and no desire or drive to do it. nothing like the ability to always, without fail, fuck up your life. nothing like that never ending anger at pretty much everything. nothing like feeling like no matter what you do, things will never be okay. nothing like realizing all of your “friends” are willing to drop you in a heartbeat. nothing like it. 

can’t even focus

huge test tomorrow, and I can’t even focus on my studying for more than 5 minutes. awesome.

Day 32 - Everything thats on your mind

Well the first thing on my mind is getting my schedule to work out. I am also thinking about my new member exam and all the stuff I still have yet to memorize.  Then there is the constant thought in the back of my mind of all the things I have to pay for and all the money I don’t have.  There is also me thinking about the fact that I have to work tomorrow and how much I  hate my job.  Then when I think about working tomorrow I think about whether or not I want to go out tonight; probably not.  Then I think about all the stuff that I feel like I miss out on.  And now all I can think about is how thirsty I am and how far I have to walk in order to get some water and how much I don’t want to do that I also can’t stop thinking about how much I want this semester to be over, and how frustrated and annoyed I am with pretty much everything…awesome.

Day 25 - Something you’re thinking of changing

So I am a little late on this one but oh well. Anyway my answer: There are two main things in my life that must be changed…well three really but two kind of go together.  I need to change my eating habits and along with it my exercise habits.  I am starting to just feel generally unhealthy and want to fix that.  I also need to change my study habits in order to adapt to the college lifestyle.  I didn’t really have issues with any of my classes first semester but now I seem to be ten times busier and now my grades are taking a hit.  So in order to lessen that stress I need to develop a good balance of study and social…and fast.